Audi S8. Mad, Bad, Dangerous To Know

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It’s business as usual in the rear, courtesy of rear electric blinds and ample leg/headroom. The two TV screens in the driver and passenger headrests also offer a perfect chance to evade ‘the filth’, if only we had the same satellite trafficking signal that is so often the boon for the Fast and Furious crowd during their escape attempts.

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If all else fails, and the sizeable boot and storage compartments are not enough to hold your bullion (that is if those pesky red, white and blue Mini Coopers haven’t already beaten you to it) then there’s always the small refrigerator between the backseats: laundered and chilled could be a new tradition for smash and grabs.

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But of course, it’s when the twin blown 4.0-litre V8 is fired into life that the true test begins. No corner can be turned without tyre squeal after all, and no pull away from standstill (on gravel, naturally) complete without a handbrake-assisted 180.

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Let’s not forget that there’s 520hp under the bonnet, and that the S8 is capable of 0-100kph in 4.2 seconds and 250kph if you leave the electronic limiter on. All of this – plus swift changes through the ZF eight-speed transmission – will prove invaluable when the blues and twos appear in your rear view mirror after the raid.

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Getting a head start shouldn’t be a problem, since the S8’s acceleration is pretty brutal and more than powerful enough to throw you back into the headrest. There’s surprisingly little roar from the exhaust pipes (but don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of growl), so potential witnesses on the other side of the road probably won’t have enough time to get your plate number to the cops when the chase begins.

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When your chase inevitably hits the country roads, there’s more than enough response through the steering and front wheels to keep the S8 planted and under control. Despite the Audi being a pretty weighty beast – and that’s not even including your three on-board associates who will be looking frantically for police helicopters – there’s very little body roll.

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