Audi S8. Mad, Bad, Dangerous To Know

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It seems that the Audi S8 has garnered a reputation in the criminal underworld. Check out some of Hollywood’s more colourful car chases down the years (such as Ronin, The Transporter, and Taken) and you’ll find the S8 in a lot of them.

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Hopefully then you can understand our trepidation with the latest crankandpiston Audi test. The possibility of SWAT teams appearing from the horizon brandishing arrest warrants or rival gangs aiming AK47s in our direction is a concern as we blip the S8′s key fob.

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Mercifully this particular test model boasts an innocent Glacier White metallic finish as opposed to the deep, dark black so often preferred by the criminal fraternity. Given though that most of the crankandpiston crew today is wearing sunglasses – a look so often perfected by ‘the baddy’ – then we may not be out of the woods yet.

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It’s difficult not to be taken in by the S8’s almost-muscular looks. Audi has, after all, been upping the saloon’s gritty expression over the years, emphasised here the flowing front grille, the aggressively styled front bumper, and the sharp, stark strikes across the bonnet. There’s even a deliciously devious glare about the headlights, like a mob boss watching his boys work over a snitch.

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Fortunately at the back things are a lot more civilised (must keep things nice and subtle after all so that pursuing police cars are thrown off the trail), with raised stance and ever-so slight spoiler lip on the boot lid finishing off a gritty yet elegant look. Somehow the 21-inch triple-spoke alloys manage to straddle both sides of that particular fence.

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We’re similarly relieved to find, after sliding behind he wheel, that there are not three balaclava-ed gentlemen meticulously loading cartridges into sawn off shotguns and talking liberally about ‘the job’. Instead, we have a good lumbar support in the sports seats, a solar sunroof, and beautiful valcona leather upholstery…

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…though the counter-intuitive controls for the infotainment system makes finding the perfect chase music more difficult that necessary.

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