BMW vs Audi vs Mercedes. The Magic Number

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I hop into the BMW, to see back-to-back how the two rear-wheel drive cars compare. Immediately the 335i feels more alive and eager. The steering is faster and the nose keener to dive into the corners, and as a result the back end is much more lively. I trail brake into a couple of bends and squeezing on the power sees the rear tyres try and break away. I have to be much more on my game than in the Mercedes to anticipate when a dab of opposite lock is needed. Part of this is due to the softer-than-expected suspension, which causes the car to lean through the bends and momentum to play a role. I’m unsure whether this is a problem or an asset. I know I’m losing time as the weight shifts from left to right, but I’m also enjoying myself, judging how far I can push and making little corrections when adhesion starts to run out. The engine, as I knew it would be, is glorious. There’s power everywhere in the range, although with eight gears it takes me a few minutes to adjust to more flicking of ratios than in the Mercedes. As it turns out, I needn’t have bothered – such is the distribution of power and torque, that there’s no need to wring the straight six’s neck.

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And so to the Audi. Which is a very different beast. The character established by the interior is continued on these roads; rock solid. The steering is weighted just right for my tastes, although it’s heavy in comparison to the others. But there’s a real feeling of connection to the fronts, and pitching it into corners and then getting on the gas early, I can feel just how much they’re tugging as the Quattro hauls the A4 towards the next bend. The traction, as expected, is excellent, and on these roads sideways action is a no-no lest I risk the intactness of our insurance agreement. The delight is feeling the Gs from the changes of direction and marvelling how well everything holds on. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the tyres were twice their actual width. The engine, down on power compared to the other two, is superbly responsive, the supercharger giving instant response. The gearbox isn’t as quick or smooth to respond as the BMW’s, and I hate the small plastic paddles, but it’s plenty quick enough. Only on faster, sweeping roads does the Audi’s lack of potency show, in the mid-range from around 3000-5000rpm where it doesn’t quite have the grunt I’m used to from the C350 and 335i.

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We gather at a small, dusty supermarket to grab a drink and discuss the day, and are immediately joined by a handful of young local lads on their way to the mosque. They snap pictures of all three cars on their phones, but unanimously agree that the Audi is the best-looking. I’m inclined to agree.

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So which is the pick of the bunch? All three have their strong points. The Mercedes is probably the most comfortable to drive day-to-day, and the most practical. Its ride on the motorway is the best, it’s perfectly competent at pace and it’s smart, in a sober and unchallenging kind of way. It doesn’t really thrill though; it does nothing wrong but doesn’t instil excitement or boast any fingertip tactility that encourages the driver to explore the car’s limits. For an hour’s commute, or posing in the office car park, it’s great, but it wouldn’t get me up on a Saturday morning to go for a hack.

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The BMW is, as I already knew, superb. It’s the most bonkers car here in character, always keen to slide with the least provocation and it has the best engine and gearbox combination here. The seats are the most comfortable and hugging too. But it’s pricey, there’s not as much rear room as the other two, the interior quality isn’t as good and there’s that odd bouncy ride when cruising which, let’s face it, is what most owners will be doing. On these roads, right now, it’s our favourite.

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But. The Audi has really surprised us with its all-round ability. McGovern hates the seats – he ended up flat out on the office floor with a knackered back after driving it – but it gets the overall vote for looks and has by far the best interior. And it’s always so solid, so confident on any terrain. It cruises well, handles superbly and the steering is really meaty. It’s not as dynamically hilarious as the 335i, focusing on grip and stability over the loose-rear-end fun-factor, but it’s the most rounded and overall capable car in our trio, and my pick for everyday life on the road.