The working week is done. Suit jacket and tie have been stowed, and it’s time for a thrash in your new Porsche 991. Tough choice between the Racing Yellow and Carrera Red, but you made the right choice. Inside the beautifully upholstered cabin, you sink into your Adaptive Sport Seat, adjust the Carrera S wheel and feel like a millionaire. And a racer. Fire up the 3.8l flat-six, turn it off, and fire it up again to savour that noise. A flick of the paddles, depress the handbrake, and you’re away.

On the highway, there’s traffic. Everywhere. Though you yearn to unleash the 400hp fury idling at your feet, a wall of sedans, SUVs and have-a-go bikers blocks your path. Adjusting the stereo mutes the car horns at least, and a blip of the throttle sends the sports exhaust burble resonating through the cabin on overrun. You can’t help but smile at that. But your right foot is getting itchy.

At the next junction, take a right. It doesn’t matter where it goes. Comfort mode has served you well, but its work is done. Into Sport Plus and flicking into manual, you’re on the highway off-ramp waiting for the sweeping right to end. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Nail it…

0-100kph in 4.1s. So quick. So responsive. So effortless. Another flick of the paddles, another burst of speed, another resonating growl. Sweep left, sweep right, hard brake then keep the throttle nailed, perfect balance and weighted steering scything you through the turn. There’s no-one here. It’s just you and the road.

Chance your arm, and launch it harder, deeper into the corners. No understeer. Not a trace. Power on, PDK blinking, and light up the rears, the back twitching excitedly. Be brave and keep it planted, and the stiffened suspension keeps you planted. Lift for the next apex, and there’s that noise again. Feather the throttle, then boot it, and you’re away again.

The nose is pointed at the horizon. You’re not sure where you’re going, but that’s okay. You’ve a full tank and hundreds of clicks at your disposal. You’ll find your way.

…yep, we went a bit Troy Queef with this one.

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Porsche 991 Carrera S
Engine: Flat-six / 3800cc
Power: 400hp @ 7400 rpm
Torque: 325 lb ft @ 5600rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed manual transmission with mechanical limited-slip rear differential and Porsche Torque Vectoring (PTV) / seven-speed Porsche Doppelkupplungsgetriebe (PDK) as an option with electronically controlled rear differential and PTV Plus / rear-wheel drive
Front suspension: McPherson axle (optimised to Porsche requirements) with wheels independently mounted on transverse control arms / longitudinal control arms and suspension struts / vibration dampers mounted inside cylindrical coil springs / electro-mechanical power steering / Porsche Active Suspension Management (PASM) with electronically controlled vibration dampers / two manually selectable damping modes
Rear suspension: Multi-link rear suspension with wheels independently guided on five control arms / cylindrical coil springs with coaxial vibration dampers mounted inside / Porsche Active Suspension Management (PASM) with electronically controlled vibration dampers / two manually selectable damping modes
Brakes: Dual-circuit brake system with separate circuits for front and rear axles / Porsche Stability Management (PSM) / vacuum brake booster / brake assist / electric duo-servo parking brake / auto hold function / perforated and vented brake discs / six-piston aluminium monobloc brake callipers 340mm x 34 mm (front) / four-piston aluminium monobloc brake callipers 330mm x 28mm (rear)
Wheels: 20-inch
Tyres: 245/35 ZR20 (front) / 295/30 ZR20 (rear)
Weight (kerb) 1395kg
0-100kph: 4.5sec (4.1sec with Sport Plus and PDK)
Top speed: 304kph

James Gent first started as a freelance motorsport writer in the UK, before an urge to be paid a monthly wage saw him move to Dubai in late 2011. A keen motoring enthusiast, he hopes that one day his garage will hold a Lamborghini Countach, as well as a WRC Lancia Delta Integrale.

James Gent